Couples Therapy & Divorce Counseling

Where Do We Start?

When clients come to me for couples counseling or marriage counseling, my role is to first help them clarify whether they have issues that can be worked out or whether they are ready to pursue a divorce.  We need to be honest about where each individual in the couple is on their personal journey because repair to a relationship can only take place when both parties are committed to the process.

For those who are willing to invest time and energy in improving their relationship, we begin our work in earnest: couples work is not easy and there are no guarantees. Yet, there are always ways we can improve a relationship when both people are committed and when we work as a team. It can be incredibly helpful to have a skilled third party, like the marriage therapist, to give a fresh perspective, mediate differences, hold safe boundaries, and encourage effective communication.

A Holistic Approach

When we work together in couples counseling or marriage therapy, I will guide you and your partner through the same holistic approach that I share with my individual clients. We will examine the eight areas of well-being to determine how you and your partner can get your needs met in these areas, whether as a couple or as individuals who are respectful of each others’ differences. These areas of well-being include:

  • physical and psychological health – what do you need as a couple and as individuals to stay healthy in mind and body?
  • career – are you each able to have a career that you enjoy that also works for the team?
  • social connections – how much time and energy would you each like to give to nurturing your social connections, and are there any disagreements or imbalances we need to address?
  • home life – what do you need as individuals, a couple, and a family to feel secure, stable, and happy at home?
  • community – how much does each person want to invest in their community and how do we resolve any conflicts?
  • time and money – what do you each value when it comes to spending your time and your money, and how do we need to address challenges or incompatibilities?
  • time in nature – do you value the role that nature plays in your well-being, and can you use this resource to support you as individuals or as a couple?
  • mindfulness and spirituality – how might it benefit you as individuals and a couple to cultivate more mindfulness and/or to invest more time in your spiritual life?

When Differences Are Irreconcilable

For couples who face an impasse that points them toward divorce, I help both parties separate in a responsible and respectful way. I will also recommend that they seek legal counsel. If children are involved, I help parents continue to work together as a team, albeit in a new context. As the couple separates and moves into two different homes, I encourage mutual respect for differences in how each will be raising the children. We continue to work together over time to mediate challenges that may arise related to disagreements in how to divide holiday and vacation time, manage homework, and raise the children.

Hope for the Future

Every relationship is faced with unexpected conflicts, crises, and adversities that challenge the individuals and the couple. Our work is to determine whether these issues can be resolved within the couple, ultimately strengthening you as a team and deepening your wisdom and life experience together or whether instead these are indicators that the relationship is no longer healthy for one or both of you. It is possible that incompatibilities are too great to overcome or that you have outgrown each other. Either way, the work we do together in the couples counseling room will set you on a path to greater inner peace and stability in the future.

36 Main Street - The Mews
Stockbridge, MA 01262
(413) 298-4544

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