The Lost Generation of Boys: How Technology and Affluence Hijacked Our Sons and Turned Them Into Man-Boys
All across America, parents are silently suffering as they watch one of their worst fears unfold: their sons are growing up, and yet not leaving home, either physically or emotionally.
According to the U.S. Census Bureau, 34% of young adults lived at home with their parents in 2015 as compared to 26% in 2005. Young men in particular are “falling to the bottom of the income ladder,” with 41% of young men in 2016 having incomes below $30,000 as compared to only 25% in 1975.
This is the lost generation of boys, young men who have not developed the full set of skills or the mindsets they need to be self-empowered and contributing members of society as their fathers were.
These man-boys do not know how to work hard, solve problems, engage as part of a team, or maintain a healthy lifestyle. They overindulge and avoid, escaping from life into video games, drugs, sex, and/or social media. They have been spoiled by our increasingly affluent society, left without an understanding of how hard their parents had to work to provide them with the latest and greatest smartphone and the video game console du jour.
To the man-boy, getting through life, school, and work should simply involve hitting an Easy button; when they discover it does not, they lash out at others, go within, or self-indulge.
Not every circumstance is dire. Sometimes the adult boy has moved out of his parent’s home, yet mom and dad are still paying the rent on his apartment while the boy continues his avoidant and self-indulgent lifestyle.
In other cases, the young man is employed, but is always disgruntled with his boss, fellow employees, and work environment. He has trouble keeping a mature relationship, whether in romance, work, or friendships. The man-boy is depressed, anxious, or angry, unable to be at peace with himself because he wants the life that his parents have but he lacks the skills to create it.
The Lost Generation of Boys provides parents of boys of all ages–young, teen, and adult–a crystal clear framework for how to raise, remediate, and reach out to boys who have ended up somewhere on the man-boy spectrum so they can ultimately begin to lead self-empowered and productive lives.
It analyzes all of the factors that have created the man-boy, including the meteors of technology and affluence that have bombarded the modern family to the huge cultural shift that has taken place over the past three decades, shifting us, for example, from a community outlook of “we” to an individualistic outlook of “me.”
Then there are the five problematic parenting styles: the Be-Your-Friend Parent, the Everyone-Gets-a-Trophy Parent, the Helicopter Parent, the Overwhelmed Parent, and the Absent Parent. These parents and sons unintentionally collude with each other to avoid the essential work that needs to be done to help the boy develop into a self-empowered, mature man.
The Lost Generation of Boys is written by Dr. Jonathan R. Aronoff, a clinical psychologist and board-certified psychoanalyst with over three decades of experience working with boys in a variety of challenging contexts. With his no-nonsense, coaching approach, Dr. Aronoff proposes a simple means of solving the complex scenarios associated with raising children today. Parents must know their role and do their work, while helping their sons do the same.
The thousands of parents today under siege by technology, affluence, and the shift from an adult-centric to child-centric culture will find the practical frameworks and doable solutions they need to raise self-empowered young men who leave the nest and mature into healthy contributors to society.
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